Top of the Morning to You

Well, it's official.
Steven and I are taking another vacation.
Scotland and Ireland.
11 days.
His parents are coming too and we are going to have so much fun. It will be a much needed mental break and escape.
After much conversation, we decided that this get away is precisely what we need. We are taking a break from being so intentional about starting a family. After 17 months, the greif and emotions were really wearing us, especially me, down. It's not that we won't still try, we just won't be trying if you catch my drift.

Belfast, Dublin, Endinburgh, Glasgow, and every town in between- get ready for the Schafers!

Do you believe?

In conversation a few days ago, a friend told me that I am not pregnant yet because I do not really believe that God can make me pregnant. If I really believed, then God would grant me the desires of my heart. Hmmmm.

This upset and disturbed me on multiple levels. I feel as though our conversation was very "prosperity doctrine" oriented, even though she insisted that it wasn't. My faith aparently isn't shaped like hers and I let her know that we would have to agree to disagree. I believe in God's transforming love in my life, but I do not believe that just because we want something and believe a certain way that anything is going to be given to me. This struck me as very selfish, which unfortunately oftentimes seems to be the face of Christianity in our society (in my opinion).

Steven and I shared thoughts for quite a while about the comments of my friend and I cried, of course. The love of God gives me great peace during this time and I continue to go through a process of grief and hope in repeated cycles. If in fact we cannot conceive, not due to any lack of faith mind you, then I know that there is a child out there somewhere that needs two wonderful red-headed parents.

Deep, wide, long, and high is the love...

Nothing like some true vulnerability

Well blogging friends, I am officially coming to you (whoever you are) and asking for prayer.
Time to be real and it is frightening because I get amazingly emotional.

Steven and I have been trying to start our family for a little over a year now and have obviously had no luck. I have been to two doctors and after a horrible experience with the first, I am much happier with the second.
We never expected, as I am sure no one does, that this would happen to us. I so badly want to be a mommy and Steven is ready to be a daddy. It is very emotional month after month when we realize our dream has not yet come true.
To make matters more difficult, my body has done some out of control things that my doctors cannot even clearly explain.

I also spend my days in a line of work where I counsel, advocate, and support single mothers and fathers, which sometimes pulls on my heart stings. Not to mention that it seems like everyone of my friends and everyone else I know has one or more children and it is so frustrating that it just doesn't seem to be happening for us.

So, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We are on a six month plan at this point and I go back to the doctor on December 16th. We trust that if this is meant to happen, then it will. We know we want to adopt, so we are prepared for that option, as well. I know I will grieve the loss of having a child, but if that is the case, I will learn to make some peace.

Your love and support is so appreciated.

In Him,
Linsey and Steven

Five

Five is the number of years I have been married to my love as of yesterday. We celebrated with grilled chicken salads at home and a movie last night (my husband is so supportive of my Weight Watchers weekly weigh-ins) and went out for what we consider a fun day on the town today.
We began our day after I returned from my weigh in, where I lost 1.6 pounds that I know I quickly found throuh the course of our celebratory evening. :)
We went to the Zoo because our perfect Saturday wouldn't be complete without a zoo trip. And while the animals may not have been as active and glorious as our last trip, it was only 78 degree when we arrived and it was amazing to walk around in our summertime weather.
We stopped at Sonic to spoil ourselves with diet cokes and then went on an adventure to the Barnes and Noble down the street and took advantage of the going out of business sale. If they keep going out of buisness much longer, I believe that the Schafers will single handedly help to keep them in business.
We took a trip to the East end of town to the fancy-shmancy Kroger that I have heard all kinds of fun talk about. We LOVE to go to festive, new grocery stores. It totally lived up to the hype and we bought a few small items and enjoyed some sushi for lunch.
We came home and watched my anniversary present, Julie and Julia (love it!), before getting ready for our exciting date. Facing what minimal traffic Louisville has was a breeze as we made our way to Mayan Cafe for dinner. I have no idea what we ordered- all I can tell you is that is was AMAZING. We split an appetizer, I had a Mahi-Mahi Mole dish, Steven had a pork dish, and we each had a beverage. Delicious! We strolled down Market and used part of my gift card at a French chocolate shop. I definitely found my 1.6 pounds, but will start back to weight loss again tomorrow.
It was such an enjoyable day of small treasures with my best friend. I love care-free moments like this.
Yes, our daily chores and projects are still waiting for us. Yes, Steven had to prep his Sermon and I have pay bills, clean bathrooms, and write this lovely blog entry, but it is so sweet to stop and just be. Two total strangers who fell in love almost instantly about seven years ago share such a blessed life together now.
I love you Steven Craig and I am so glad to call myself your wife.
Happy 5th Anniverary.

Alaska

Our Alaskan Cruise was fantastic. Hope you enjoy these pics of the scenery.

Throo the Zoo

I have been running anywhere from 3.2 to 4.o miles at a time at the gym for a while now. As previously mentioned, runnin a 5K is one of my life's goals. So, I made it official. I ran a full out 5K. Paid my $25. Got up at 6:00 on a Saturday and braved the BRUTAL hills at the Louisville Zoo (one of my favorite places on earth).
I almost died or at least that's what I felt like. But, I did it!

My time was 33:01, approximately a 10 minute and 30 second mile. I am so proud and it was my best time yet. The time flew by. It was like I blinked and it was over. The sense of pride, self-worth, and achievement was very special and I will treasure this experience forever.

The fastest guy ran it in like 13 minutes and something. That makes me ill just thinking about it. I have no desire to ever run that fast. Yuck! My next goal will be a 10K (6.4 miles) and then I hope to work my way up to a mini-marathon.

We leave for our cruise in 13 DAYS!!! Hooray! I am trying to eat healthy and exercise as much as possible before we go because I plan to enjoy myself fully on the cruise. We are so excited!

Peace to you and yours-

Big News

Many of my faithful readers may be thinking that I will soon announce that I am pregnant here on my blog- and I hope that someday we will bring you that news- but this is not that day.
Onto the BIG NEWS for the day.
Today, I reached one of my life goals!
I ran 3.2 miles.
A 5K.
I ran it in 36 minutes (which is about an 11.2 minute mile, which isn't that great), but the important thing is that I DID IT!
My husband was the only one there to witness it, but it was a glorious and emotional moment when I finished.
I am so pumped by reaching my goal. Now on to my next- a Mini-marathon.
One day, I will have a 13.1 sticker on the back on my car.
:)

Here's to you reaching one of your lifetime goals!